Reflection

Life goes in cycles... it has ups and downs. It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, beautiful, homeless, famous, young or old. Everyone has problems... some people are just better at hiding it than others. What's important is to not dwell on the bad, maximize the good and make the most out of what you've got.

Today after being exhausted from moving and running errands all day, I retired to bed early and since I couldn't fall asleep yet being that that sun hadn't even set, I spent a good deal of time doing some reflection on my life from the comforts of my luxurious, NASA invented, cloud-like piece of heaven.

It's so easy to get caught up in things when you are in the middle of it. When you are caught up in something, your emotions get involved and you can't think straight and make logical decisions. It's always good to be able to take a step back from everything... breathe... then try to evaluate your situation and see things from an objective point.

I feel as if right now I'm paying my dues. This last year was a tremendous growing experience. I am not the same person as I was one year ago when I moved to Southern California - far from it. I came here as a bratty, got everything I wanted but still wasn't happy, unappreciative, spoiled 19 year old girl. By the time I leave I hope to have blossomed into a respectable, mature woman with a good head on her shoulders.

I've learned how to be on my own, finally. Where as before, I couldn't go a few hours without having someone by my side, I now enjoy alone time when I have it. I did everything a young person now days could ever dream of doing yet was constantly bored... now I take joy in the simplest of things and have learned to do things in moderation. I can cook and clean and actually enjoy organizing. Thinking of this makes me laugh... I thought I was too good to do anything before. I grew up pampered from head to toe with maids and my mother cleaning up everything. I really took that for granted, now I know how hard it must have been for my mom and she always did it without complaining.

This house I'm leaving behind, ghetto as it is, will be always remain a significant place for me in my mind. I could have moved to a nicer place sooner but I wanted to force myself to life below my means for once and experience the true "college lifestyle". Know what it's like... It was incredibly difficult at first but as with all things, if you keep doing it, it becomes the norm. I got used to it and I think it has made me a better person. I know my idea of ghetto is still no where near some peoples but for me to go from where I was to here was a huge downgrade. I think I've gotten alot humbler and learned alot about finance and smart money management. The money I made before, I blew like nothing because I didn't know the value of money or what to do with it. Now I know how to spend finances wisely and that it doesn't matter how much you make, it's how much you can keep in the end. I have no doubt in my mind I'll make as much and most likely more than I did before and when that time comes, I won't mess it up again. I'm excited for that... there are so much better things money can buy than purses, hair-do's and other worthless items.

I have 2 to 3 more years of school left and although by next week I'll be in a much nicer home, it doesn't change the fact that I am still going to keep myself grounded and continue to grow as a person and learn, both from my experiences and others. Sometimes it's hard when I compare this relatively "normal" life from my extravagant, exciting but lost life prior but I get comfort knowing in a few years, life is going to be better than ever... I can't wait to get started. School is fun and all and I like learning... but being in the business world, making money and networking is what I do best and enjoy the most. It's so funny that people who meet me now can hardly imagine what I was like before. I've made myself a homebody and tamed myself because there is no other way I'd be able to get through school but once my dues are paid and I find my calling again? There will be no stopping and it's going to be great! I'm hungry =) What I am learning now even the cleaning and cooking part will only help later on. Ahh... I am looking forward to my future so much. The present is great and all but it's only going to get better and better and better, like it always has. haha. ;) I don't know exactly where I'll be and what the mid 20's version of me will be doing but figuring it out is going to be half the fun. If the growth between the last five years and the next five are anything alike, it's going to be a wild ride. =) I also can't wait to grow mentally and get smarter... My 20 year old mind still has alot to absorb and figure out!