Mundane Day

Here is what my day was like:

8:00AM - Woke up... (had about 6 or 7 hours of sleep), ate breakfast. Was
going to eat chinese traditional rice porridge with all those sides but decided
since it'd be my first day of swimming I needed more calories for energy so
I made a burger.. It was yummy =) Listened to some music to wake up.

9:30AM - Swim class. Sooo exhausting! Speedos are just so unflattering. On
both men AND women! Swam for little over an hour... I think I retained
alot of my speed but lost practically all of my endurance. I'm looking
forward to see how much I can gain back by the end of the semester. I've
acquired the ugliest tan ever! It's a one piece with a open back so I'll let you imagine just how terrible the tan lines are haha. Can't believe how much I
tanned in 1 hour... must remember to use sunblock.

11:00AM - Post office to mail out stuff. Feel kinda bad. I'm 3 days late mailing this book I sold on half.com

12:00PM
- Showered and instead of being too tired to do anything after swimming
I actually had a lot of energy... so I put on some music and "exercised" some more.

1:00PM - Played piano. "Sonatina" .. played the whole book and a few select
songs from others. I miss piano =) Think I'll enroll into piano class during
summer.... since I will be a resident by then and classes will be uber cheap!
It was kind of awkward having my new roommate next to me dancing mongolian dance to my piano playing. err.. yeah.

2:00PM - Listened to some classical music on Pandora while studying my statistics book and doing homework.
Ate lunch... pasta... with wonton lol :) My wontons are really good!

3:00PM - tweaked on computer for a bit... checked email, myspace etc. Did
errands, made sure California is not taking away my car registration
etc... Must remember to ask lawyer friend about my ticket this weekend
when we have breakfast. Don't feel like paying $400 for running a red
light!
Signed up to volunteer for LA's Best... kinda like an A+ program
I guess... you can help kids do homework, play sports, arts and craft
etc.. I like it because you can do it any day M-F from 2-6 as long as
you stay for at least an hour. I plan on going once or twice a week, as
my schedule permits. Still doing Reading to Kids but it's only once a
month so I have plenty of room to do other things. Had my doctor fax
over my TB results so I can work with them.
My (other) favoritest doctor/friend sent me a pic from NY Fashion Week
where he is currently at.... made me wishful and jealous =). I love New York
(Baby, let's take a trip out there one of these days!). Talked to a good friend
who recently broke up with his fiance. Didn't know he even got engaged...
probably cause it was really sudden. His dad is dying from cancer and
he's on his way back to his hometown for a month to figure out what
he's going to do now- maybe move to LA and play at Commerce. He's an
amazing professional poker player. Guess where we met? haha. Poor
thing. I hope he gets everything figured out.

5:00PM - took a nap..

6:00PM
- Got up, threw on sweats and a hat, made a smoothie and headed over to
the language lab at school to get some hours in. We need 15 hours a
semester. I've been craving something salty all week so before I went I
stopped by the Burger King near my house for the first time and got
small fries.. Wished it was a McDonald's instead of BK. Their fries
kinda sucked. haha. Plus - McDonald's breakfast every so often would be
nice!

7:30PM - Chinese class.. this class passes by soooo
slowly... I usually like to be alert and aware but this is the one and
only time I zone out like the 9-5ers in their cubicles.. I like that I
learn in here and I can read a ton in Chinese now... but the repetitive
chanting of words in a language I can already speak is so tiring. I
guess there is no "fun" way to learn a language - unless you count
dating a fob who doesn't speak English which I'm not about to do.

10:00PM - Class lets out. Talked to my bf for almost an hour (for once ;p)
while making edamame and chinese pancake with scallop. . I miss him.
Realized that long distance relationships really suck when you actually
care about the person. It is just not satisfying. Especially when
neither of you are "phone people". hmmm. I really hate talking on the
phone. Idk how girls can do it all day long. I could do it in middle
school... Can't wait til next month. I guess I was okay with the last
"LDR" because well uh, first of all it wasn't really a relationship but
more so cause I really didn't give a shit and was trying to get rid of
him for the longest time. Things are easier when you don't care, no? Oh
well, too late now =P.

11:00PM - Started writing this blog just in case later on I wonder what I do
with all my time.. I always feel like I'm super busy but yet can never really
recall exactly what I do (especially in what order).... haha my memory with
events and time is terrible. My memory with facts, general ideas and things
that people do is amazing. They have a word for that syndrome don't they? I
think those people are usually very weird and socially awkward. haha.
Maybe that explains a lot. =P


All my classes now start at 9:30.. swimming on TTh and sociology MW.
There's like a 1-2 hour long break between my sociology class and my statistic class... which I would have preferred not to have but her other class
was full. Plus, it's nice. Forces me to wake up early... and I guess it's nice to
have that cram time before class for exams and also so I can do homework
and review.

I feel like I get so much more done now that I wake up earlier. In fact I
almost don't know what to do with all the time (hence, the
late-afternoon nap). I guess that's why I'm signing up to do LA's Best.
At least I can do something productive/active and have fun with kids
AND be doing "community service" at the same time. I just hate wasting
away doing nothing. I've done too much of that in my past. No more mere
existing for me... I want to live =) Well.. can't say I didn't "live"
before but I did have ALOT of down time. Now.. I just like to occupy my
time with productive things as much as possible. Having nothing to do
leads to bad things =)

Tomorrow I gotta go to school then meet with Tamas (the guy who sold me
my car), have him bring and change out my battery (because my car is dead) and then maybe have some coffee with him cause he always drives soooo far
to help me with things he really doesn't need to! What a nice guy.. I will
refer him lots of clients. =)

I feel kinda bad cause I must be a hard person to date. I have so many guy
friends... I can't help it. I grew up with guys, always got along with guys
better, for the most part think more like a guy, like intelligent conversation
over gossip and idk... if guys wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of girls
all day... why would I?? I can't stand most girls. Esp the cattiness, insecurity
and drama! I think all that matters is that I'm faithful - which I always
am if I'm actually in a relationship. It just takes someone who knows
me really well to be able to realize this. I'm glad my current bf knows
and trusts me even though it must be hard at times =). I err.. "have
mad <3 for him". Even though we have horribly unsatisfying phone
conversations which results me in complaining about it all the time...
which leads to even more unsatisfying phonversations. =P haha. ok I
need to start getting ready for bed. I wonder if, those of you who
actually read this, find me less interesting after knowing practically
every single thought that occurs in my head throughout one day? hahaha.
All the mystery just goes away =P I guess, today was a pretty mundane
day. :)

More Kierkegaard

A man who as a physical being is always turned
toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.

Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself.



Funny that I read these quotes before, yet they never caught my eye. Now, they really stick out! I guess I understand it for myself now and have personal experiences that validate and gave them meaning.

I could NOT for the life of me just sit around and do "nothing" before. I had to occupy my time with something (anything, really) to get away from the noise of being by yourself. I'm glad I've made amends with myself because life would be pretty unbearable right now if I were still in the phase. But come to think of it, I wasn't mentally capable of moving in the first place had I not done that first. I wouldn't be able to handle it! I should say "wasn't" able to handle it . The couple of times I tried to move before... guess what happened? I moved back within a couple of months. haha it just wasn't time... I wasn't ready for it. When I finally was ok being by myself, I successfully moved (and it's been almost a year! whew, time passes by quickly). I guess things do happen when the time is right... can't force things.

I have to be honest, it kind of sucked to be back here by myself yesterday. Away from the comforts of home but I know it's good for me. I have to rely on myself again!

I was sad to be back here without my friends and family but it makes me realize how much I value HAVING friends and family. I shut everyone out when I first moved here and I didn't realize it until I had time to step away from it all and reevaluate. Now, I think it's the right time to have friends again (haha). I have to admit (kind of sheepishly) that I was incredibaly mean to everyone here who tried to be my friend haha. I was in the mindset that I would focus on school and school only and anything outside of that would just be an unnecissary distraction. I forgot how much I used to laugh and goof around! (Thank you to D who played a huge part in reminding me of that haha <3)

I guess a part of me needed that time alone and I needed to be a loner to get through my first full semester back (at a much harder college haha) but now I think I'm comfortable enough to continue getting A's in school and also allow myself to start being more like myself again... err my extravert self anyway. I think she was feeling neglected... lol. I didn't even realize how serious I was being until, like I said, I got away and also my mom mentioned to me that my cousin told her that I'm "so serious"! I was shocked to hear that.. "Me?? Serious?? hahahh what is she talking about? I'm so silly all the time!" lol but I guess she is right... I was being uber serious.. I forgot cause I have having so much fun in Hawaii. Needed to lighten up. This is my reminder to myself that it is okay to enjoy myself AND work/study hard at the same time =). Not that I wasn't happy, I was very content.. just wasn't having any "fun" at all. Fun, once in a while, is okay. More than okay, I think for me it's kind of necessary. I was getting kinda bitter and bitchy... hahaha aka "serious" :)

//



I'm reading Tuesdays with Morrie...

"There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like. In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own."