Wiser

I can't believe it's only days until my 21st birthday. I've never been big on birthdays but I do believe that your 21st is the last birthday people look forward to. Well, maybe your 25th so that you can rent and insure cars for less but that's not so exciting, is it?

I've done everything a 21 year old can do way before I turned 21 so I pretty much ruined it for myself. Being 21 is almost synonymous with partying. I've been partying in the hottest places all over the US since I was 16. So much so, that for the last year I've been partied out and turned to a grandmotherly-like homebody complete with a newly found knitting hobby. I'm much more excited to learn new things, eat good food, dine at fine restaurants, listen to good music, explore new places, and do new things. Not to mention that not only am I allergic to alcohol, I also dislike the taste and feeling of alcohol. I'm naturally euphoric!

The only thing turning 21 really means to me is that I no longer have the "I was young and dumb" excuse. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my youth - though none were in vain because I learned from it - but no matter what I did, I was 17, 18, 19... barely a young adult. It can and has been all forgiven. In my view though, time is running out and I no longer have as much time to fuck around and need to start seriously thinking about my future and the type of person I'd like to be.


We're all kids inside and no one really grows up completely, we just get wiser. For me, it's time to start really being an adult. No more wasting time with frivolous things or ahem, people. I'm constantly told by more than a handful of close friends that I remind them of their mother so I suppose that means I act a lot older than my age as it is but there are a few things (or maybe just one) I still hold on to that I know I need to stop. I've been blessed and don't have many problems - I love my life - but the worst of my consequences always seem to derive from this unwillingness to change that part of me. When I was younger, it's okay but as I get older, I really think this one thing could make or break the difference between success and failure. Or at the very least make it a lot easier or a lot harder on myself. It's really not even a hard thing. I can do it =)

It's 2:30AM and I'm deliriously tired. Not used to staying up this late. Guess I'll wake up tomorrow and deal with typos hahaha.