Gosh, I'm so excited!! I think it finally hit me that I'm REALLY moving! For good! And I'm more than likely never coming back! Ahhh! I can feel it.... like the LIFE in me is slowly creeping back..! For TOO LONG I've been hibernating... I've only been like 10% of the highly energized, high spirited, enthusiastic, AMBITIOUS person that I really am... As much as I love it, Hawaii is really the crab bucket. There's NO WHERE TO GO and everyone wants to keep you down with them.. Well... I'm finally OUT!
I really don't know why it's taken so long. I guess it's just I was so comfortable and taking the first step is always the hardest. Also, before I had no real REASON to move and it's always hard to start over... but I forgot how EXCITING and FUN it can be! How can I explain to someone who doesn't know what this really feels like for me..???
Okay, this might be a weird example but it was like a guy who's been in a long relationship and little by little he got less and less sex and little by little he lost his sex drive until he was just.... suppressed. Like, he knows he's supposed to have sex and want it as well, right? He remembers having it before and knows it feels DAMN GOOD but it's just been so long he kinda forgot just HOW good it was and has just slowly unwillingly accepted this unfulfilling reality cause there really wasn't much other choices around and he was comfortable with his chick so just never did anything about it.
Well, NO MORE! One day that guy woke up and thought, "geez, what the fuck am I doing?? I need to break up with this bitch and get out there, I'm wasting the prime of my life doing JACK SHIT!!" and he finally goes out and at first it feels kinda awkward at first cause he hasn't been in the game for a while... but aHA! he gets his first fuck in a long time and AH! It's like the first hit for a crack addict and from there he just takes off and fucks everything in sight and feels like he's a teenager again. Life is great!!
Guys, do you know what I'm talking about? I'm not talking to the guys who don't get laid in the first place of course cause... well, obviously you WOULDN'T know but to the ones that do... ISN'T IT THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
So, metaphorically speaking, I GOT MY SEX DRIVE BACK!! CHEEEEHEEE! And ok for the ones that are a little sloowwerrr, I'm going to clarify before you leave this blog thinking "Oh wow, so Cat's leaving Hawaii to go to LA and fuck everyone in sight..." NO! Replace "sex" with meeting NEW and INTERESTING people, NEW PLACES TO GO, THINGS TO DO, enough with the SAME SHIT EVERY WEEK.... YESS! I could care less about the actual sex or potential relationships up there... I just want to meet some new interesting people who are actually fuckin ALIVE!
It's such a great feeling. It's a mix between hope, excitement and giddiness all rolled into one. It almost feels unreal cause it's been so long since anythings really excited me or interested me at all. Once I actually get there (in less than a week and a half!) I'll FINALLY start feeling like myself again! YAY!!!!
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